tied up over tripping

I’ve been too tied up and worried about tripping over my words to really say anything for the last little while. But there’s a lot of shit going on and writing helps to straighten out my brain, so I’m gonna start spewing words onto the internet again. 

I felt tied up because I hold writing in such a sacred regard. It means something to me that I can’t articulate (GREAT START) and the thought of trivialising it with mediocre offerings nauseated me/ made me want to cancel myself before I’d penned a word. So I’ve been holding it reverently at arm’s length, always thinking but rarely writing, until something that used to fall out of me became something I feared, something I disconnected from, something I assured myself was not meant for me. 

The silent interim exacerbated my chronic reading habit. And I realised that it really is true: you don’t write because you want to say something; you write because you have something to say. Props to Fitzgerald for that sage take. It resonates.  

My something isn’t going to be read by the world or win Pulitzers. But if I don’t try to say it I might spew for real, so, here we are. Some hopefully sensical, potentially latently anarchistic unfiltered musings on whatever I’m thinking on will henceforth appear here.

I probably won’t say henceforth again.